My Window

Since last 9 monthe I have been waking up between 2:30 and 3:30 a.m. And with that would begin my struggle to fall asleep. The first few months I just didn't get it. Then one month into it, I started being thankful for the peace and quiet. I started to meditate. The meditation itself lasted for about 20-25 mins after which I would fall asleep. Not a peaceful,deep sleep but a closed eyes, snoring sleep.

Since last one month meditation has not been working as well. One thing I am now tuned to is, whenever there is discomfort, it is time to change. To move from the position of discomfort. It means what I had been doing so far is no longer working. So, as I was lying in the bed counting my breath, and internalizing my mantra, wondering what next- I realised - all the years I wanted to write or wished I could write, I had complained about the lack of space and time that was my own. My own corner in the room, the tree in the garden, my own bubble. And here it was - life was handing it to me - my very own bubble- untouched and unseen from the world. This window when the night slipped away into dawn, the window when the wise woke up to invoke the divinity, when the universe was just getting ready to borne another beautiful day, this tender, sweet, fragile, fragrant window of possibilities was mine. My window to delve deep into my soul- to breath, the write, to be. So here I am, enclosed and engulfed and blessed to be awake.