Had Pray Moment Yesterday..

Had a Pray moment last night- from Eat, Pray, Love. It was 12 in the night and I was desparately crying, not on the bathroom floor but on the bed... except the location and the person everything else was same.. the emotions and the intensity.. and the desperation. What more and how can I move forward?

It has been getting better every week, every day since last 1 year but there are couple of days in the month when I amount to nothing and all the light, the trees, the golden leaves melt away.. I am standing at the edge of a bottomless pit.. and then as I look in the darkness I wonder why and when this will end... why even couple of day in a month should I be shredded this cruelly... and this has nothing to do with my hormones.. for this happens not at that time of the month or any particular time of the month... it waits, wathces and then it just comes... and then it is gone...

I eventually slept, little peaceful.. hoping for a dream and some sanity..

I woke up fine and whole, wonderfull.. And I marked my calendar.. then till next month I shall live, breathe this wonderful life again.