Desires

My life today is a direct result of my desires which are manifesting over a period of time in an order that someone somewhere deems right. Growing up I was afraid that my life would be very uneventful and very boring, so I prayed for an interesting, engaging life. I remember that I had asked for a life which was like one of the movies where the protagonist is happy, sad, conflicted, tormented and then there is a happy ending. And yes, my life has been full of drama and events so much so that all I have desired since last couple of years and especially last year, earnestly, is a Zen movie. A life of quiet, peace and joy.

Does the desire for internal growth always come after pain and conflict? Do you think a person, completely happy, materially and emotionally, open his eyes, stare at the ceiling while the morning sunshine cascades through the drapes, and with the smile on his lips say 'I am going to find out who I really am' ?

Most of my fellow travelers on this inner journey have been beaten badly, bent out of shape before they dragged themselves on this road. Most of them have resisted, begged, and tried to wiggle their way out, but have been defeated and left with no other option. They all started on this road, dragging their feet at first and then eventually picking up the pace and now I feel some of us are ready to run.

So as this year ends, here it is, to my fellow travelers, who have partied year after year on the New Year’s Eve, drunk and little spaced, but this year desiring to end this year on a different note, with peace and quiet and joy to the world. May 2009 really give you wings, no really.